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Donald Marcus Welch’s A Dad’s Unexpected Battle is a screenplay (published in book form) about a father struggling with his demons and the impact that it inevitably has on his family, especially his children. It is a thorough and concise portrayal of how one’s mental well-being and their capacity for parenting bounce off one another.

There are very few pieces of media out there that specifically touch upon the mental fluctuations that come with being a father. Where there exists an actual inquiry into the impact of parenting on the mind of the parent, the majority is concerned with the mother’s mental well-being. This is not to say that there are too many of these–the focus on the mother is important since it is generally the mother who takes in all the burden of raising the child. Yet, ignoring the plight of the other person in the arrangement does no good either.

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Fatherhood and Mental Health

Generally, and more often than not, when we imagine a parent who is struggling with mental health issues, the first image that we conjure up and the archetype that we have slowly made mentally is that of a mother hysterical and deranged, either mourning a lost child or someone who is too overprotective of hers.

And, yes, these have some kernel of truth to them, but rarely do inquiries like these focus on the father. Common sense contends that, while a father’s role is important in parenting, it should only be a subject of interest to the extent that they are a provider and a guardian compared to the mother’s “pivotal” role as nurturer and teacher.

This view is quite reductionist as it boxes in the father as almost optional in its perspective when, in truth, parenting is much more complex than this binary model would suggest; and even if this claim was taken at face value, it presupposes that effective parenting is only a function of input and output. Humans are much more complicated and dynamic than that.

So, we arrive at fatherhood and mental health–and its importance.

The Challenges of Being a Dad

While there are some voices who claim that the father’s “value” as a provider and a guardian is “easier,” this assertion does not play out neatly in actual household dynamics and breaks down when examined further. Of course, this is not to say that there are no cultural mores that uplift the father–there are plenty–only that, if equality and an evening are to be achieved, there specific burdens must be addressed also.

Being a father is as demanding as it is being a mother. For one, there are few safeguards for fathers, and there are ingrained biases that hinder their role, especially the idea that fathers don’t experience mental burden from their role; or, if they did, it is unimportant.

We are all in agreement that when one is mentally and emotionally taxed, they may behave oddly in a way that affects their relationships with the people around them and their community. Why, then, shouldn’t the same presumption be placed on fatherhood?

Because of the limited role that society has afforded fathers, they are unable to fully voice out their suffering without being subjected to intense scrutiny, not only as fathers but as men as well.

This perspective leads men to be more withdrawn and more morose. Without the cultural permission to express themselves, their capacity for fatherhood is impaired and reduced, resulting in instances where their relationship with their partners and children inevitably fray and decompose.

The stoicism that is enforced upon fathers also causes them to suppress their negative emotions, which does not make them go away and only leaves them to fester. This has the adjunct effect of dismissing a man’s dynamic emotional landscape and boxing the whole category of man as “emotionless,” thereby perpetuating a needless and destructive cycle.

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The idea that a man cannot be emotional, especially in their social roles, has serious implications for manhood and fatherhood that cannot be approached without examining deeper and more systemic biases.

Donald Marcus Welch’s A Dad’s Unexpected Battle can be bought here on this website. Click this link, so it takes you to the order page. Grab a copy now!